Memorial Notification

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Maria V. – Gone Too Soon

Immersed in the disbelief and shock that she is gone, I find myself reflecting on the one person who made the most impact on my life.  I met her in rehab (against all advice) and had a child with her after a three-month relationship.  The relationship ended shortly thereafter; most likely because we were both in early recovery and didn’t listen to the wisdom imparted in the rooms concerning the challenges and pitfalls of relationships early in recovery.  Certainly, I was still caught up in self-will and denial.

Having said that, she and my daughter offered to me the best that life has to give: a loving family that care for each other.  The dream did not last long and was quickly snatched away by the monster of addiction.  I experienced many heart aches and much pain raising my daughter by myself (with interspersed periods of recovery, relapse, and shared custody).  The battles that ensued with her mother were agonizing and discouraging, but the rewards of raising my daughter and seeing her grow into a lovely young women were worth it.  I had the heart and desire to make it work and I persevered with God’s grace and the help of this fellowship.

The readings state that the only options for using addicts are jails, institutions and death.  Unfortunately, this proved true in her life: after multiple rehabs (she never gave up) the disease first took her freedom, then her life.  I can’t adequately express how wonderful she was.  The disease didn’t care, but I did.  I knew who she really was (a kind and gentle spirit) and believe she is with her loving, caring God in heaven now.  I know beyond a doubt that she loved my daughter with all her heart…as my daughter will attest to.  Her spirit lives on and, because of her, my daughter is stronger and more determined than ever to live life drug free and carry on the legacy of her mother’s carefree laughter and love for people and life.

Our hope was to be reunited with her upon release from prison.  I was still clinging to the person I fell in love with and had fantasies of reliving times past.  Unfortunately, that never happened.  The disease destroyed her health to a point were multiple surgeries were necessary.  She was unable to fully recover after her last surgery.  The exact nature of her death is still being determined, but I know addiction was the ultimate culprit.  That hope of being reunited is forever shattered, but the fragrance of her life and love still linger among those who knew her.  All I can say is I miss her and I am glad she no longer suffers and is far beyond the reach of the ugliness of the disease of addiction.  

The love and prayers in this fellowship are for all addicts inside and outside these rooms who are still suffering.  I am angry and hurt at all the pain this disease causes and am constantly praying that others don’t have to die this way and find the God of their understanding and the path to recovery and life.

Till we meet again, Maria, thank you for never giving up on yourself nor your daughter, despite being pummeled by the disease.  You were strong, vibrant and full of life; you made me feel so alive! I was so unworthy of your love. May you suffer no more, rest in peace, and be filled with the joy you so much deserve.  I never regretted loving you…I will always love you…

In loving grace, a humbled addict named:

Dan B.

Memorial Services will be 5-7 PM, Friday July 1st at:

Falvo Funeral Home

1395 North Goodman St
Rochester, NY 14609

Phone: 585-872-1010
Fax: 585-467-2457

(All are welcome)

 

 For more information contact Dan B. at 585-260-9637

 

 

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